Dilemma

Looking at the pills in the palm of my hand, Carvedilol, 3mgs. 2 pearls a day of life giving essence or 92 ways to end the depression. How neatly they lie in the crease of my skin my broken lifeline peaking through them. So white and smooth, so meek and small it would be so easy to swallow them all. Thoughts and sorrow fill my mind of those I've hurt and left behind. of pains and regrets that never end and the pathetic life I needlessly spend. The love I've lost is just a measure of all of the time we spent together but now it's too late to make amends, it hurts too much when you loose your friends. Looking at the pills in the palm of my hand, Carvedilol, 3mgs. I know what to expect as I set my resolve The senses grow dim as the pilules dissolve. My mind will wander and breathing will stop as the heart beats slower and blood pressure drops. I think of my girls, they're almost grown now, what will they do when I'm not around? My wife so loving and sweet when I met her, she could have done so very much better. Her gentle crying as she lies beside me is but one more regret my soul belies me. I yearn for the day when the pain goes away, until then I will fight to keep it at bay and hope that my selfish desire to leave will offer to me one more day of reprieve. Looking at the pills in the palm of my hand, Carvedilol, 3mgs. I think today I'll take just 2 perhaps, tomorrow, I'll know what to do.
8/27/2015
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Robinson Jr. Avatar
June 14, 2017 at 11:07 AM
Breathtaking poem, James (w/no pun intended.) You move thru the mental catacombs w/unerring ease. Such a deep, and troubling subject suicide is. Your pen addressed it well w/grace and certitude. Profound poetry that touches on so many different levels. Great poem and an instant fave of mine. Love and peace always.
Inman Avatar
June 14, 2017 at 12:33 PM
Freddie, thank you for the very kind comment. Yes, a difficult issue.
Glass Avatar
October 2, 2015 at 3:04 AM
You have an extraordinary talent. This poem spoke to me on the same level as Dorothy Parker's Resume. I'm a fan.
Inman Avatar
October 2, 2015 at 8:15 AM
Thank you so, Kiley. Great comment, one I'm sure I don't deserve, but thank you. Looking forward to sharing poems with you. I mentioned to you about Forms in another comment. One that helps with syllabic count is an Etheree. First line has 1 syllable, line 2 has 2 syllables and so forth up to 10 syllables in the tenth line. Check out Andrea Dietrich for good examples (she has tons) or a lovely new one by Ian Guyler at: http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/october_why_not_november_____etheree_710964.
A. Sharma Avatar
August 17, 2015 at 11:23 AM
Congrats on ur wonderful winning poem James! Great work!
Inman Avatar
August 17, 2015 at 8:39 PM
Thank you.
A  Avatar
August 16, 2015 at 9:50 PM
James, Congrats on your win. ~SKAT~
Inman Avatar
August 17, 2015 at 8:40 PM
Thank you SKAT
A   Avatar
August 14, 2015 at 7:06 PM
James :) Congratulations on your awesome win. Stop by my latest blog "Poem for One Victim" if you'd like or have time. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
Inman Avatar
August 14, 2015 at 9:19 PM
PD, thank you for sponsoring this great contest. I'll definitely check out your blog.
Bocsa Avatar
July 13, 2015 at 2:31 PM
Contra-dillemma: I also kept love in my hands, and I recognize similar lines , while my heart has similar bits .I wake p to live in your most beautiful verses and vice versa.
Inman Avatar
July 14, 2015 at 7:14 AM
Thank you for all of your nice comments.
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