Dilemma
Looking at the pills in the palm of my hand,
Carvedilol, 3mgs.
2 pearls a day of life giving essence
or 92 ways to end the depression.
How neatly they lie in the crease of my skin
my broken lifeline peaking through them.
So white and smooth, so meek and small
it would be so easy to swallow them all.
Thoughts and sorrow fill my mind
of those I've hurt and left behind.
of pains and regrets that never end
and the pathetic life I needlessly spend.
The love I've lost is just a measure
of all of the time we spent together
but now it's too late to make amends,
it hurts too much when you loose your friends.
Looking at the pills in the palm of my hand,
Carvedilol, 3mgs.
I know what to expect as I set my resolve
The senses grow dim as the pilules dissolve.
My mind will wander and breathing will stop
as the heart beats slower and blood pressure drops.
I think of my girls, they're almost grown now,
what will they do when I'm not around?
My wife so loving and sweet when I met her,
she could have done so very much better.
Her gentle crying as she lies beside me
is but one more regret my soul belies me.
I yearn for the day when the pain goes away,
until then I will fight to keep it at bay
and hope that my selfish desire to leave
will offer to me one more day of reprieve.
Looking at the pills in the palm of my hand,
Carvedilol, 3mgs.
I think today I'll take just 2
perhaps, tomorrow, I'll know what to do.
8/27/2015
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