Dilemma

Rampant reckless retrospect rushes The present blurs in blues The mistakes of the past make me miserable and low And so, I give up and the feeling grows And in wait for time to make things better I push living further into the later. I don't know if it's butterflies and sunshine, later I just hope to pick up pieces, as the time rushes But do I hope in vain? What is better? I feel worried so I look into the blues Of the waves, and the moss that grows I just give up and lie low Down as the weed, in the roots I stay, much low In hopes to remain rooted, even if they mow the green later And then in good time, a leaf of me grows And with that the past rushes Far away into the grey oblivion in the sky of blues Is that it? Will that be better? Is living in later or present better? How do I duck every time and stay low? Is future colourful or just shades of blues? And then again, I wait for later, And with that all my time rushes, My youth and life is spent, and the autumn grows. Or do I try, and fight the past clumsily and my present grows Maybe things will shape for worse or just get better A calculated risk, but miscalculation in my head rushes Or as decided, should I stay low? Or maybe fighting today becomes synonymous to later The tipping scale of probability plunges me in dark and blues Is it all clues I look for in my moods of blues A clue for bliss and happiness, a feeling of numbness grows Today makes sense, not unpredictable later If I want to live the best I gotta try to make it better I have stayed for a long while, down and low Now with my present I walk, unprepared, wherever it rushes. And in all the blues, and the running second that rushes The more low I feel, with actions the strength grows In hopes of better, if I work now, maybe all I wish comes to me later