Different Not

I thought and hoped ours would be different I always wished we would last forever, not just for the present I always wished for what we shared not to be temporary, but permanent I believed you were the one, With the way you'd proven to be God-sent I remember when we used to imagine what it'd be like to share an apartment To have a family with you, I'd always been impatient Lack of communication started our relationship's descent I will never forget when the end of us became imminent; It was a terrifying moment I saw it coming from a mile ahead, But I chose to keep silent Hurting me; you said was never your intent In letting me go however, I wish you'd been more lenient It seemed as though you only had feelings for me when it was convenient I was at a loss as to why it seemed you wanted to return my heart, When it was given, not lent To be nothing more than friends; that's a crazy adjustment, When came and basically lived in my mind; I should've made you pay a rent I won't lie, you led me on to an extent I won't lie, I foolishly followed, in the name of being patient, While suffering through feelings of hurt and pain, That I constantly needed to vent Now I have to move on my own, When my biggest fear was being alone I'm so tempted to hit up your phone, And try to fix my mistakes, my excuse being accident prone And desperately try to claw my way out of the friendzone You're telling me to move on, I'm telling you; I can't Even if it possible, I'd still decide I shan't My heart is heavy, my chest weighed down, I feel breathless, I constantly gasp and pant