Did You Ever Even Want What We Had

I still sit here looking at these worn out places, wondering how you are, I can't even take a moment to even consider how I feel in my own skin. Did you know on nights like these I stare up at the blank canvas and let my eyes run wild and draw with the shadows? God, I hope you're okay. She says you are but it's more than just that isn't it? It's always good with you until it isn't. You say that you just couldn't bare facing me, that never before have you had such a hard time forming sentences in someone's direction. Even if I did believe you, you killed me and even with the passage of time on your side, it's too late because you might as well be a century away. It was you not us that led us off a cliff and thought that things better left unspoken and forgotten was the path to forgiveness and happiness but all it did was leave me stranded, trapped In a room with all of my tormented thoughts where your presence still lingers and that has made me miss you even more and I hate myself for it.