Deputy Enos Strate

I live in Hazzard County and I am Deputy Enos Strate. I'm a virgin because Daisy Duke is the only girl I want to date. People like me because I'm Hazzard's only honest cop. I had my own show over 30 years ago but it was a flop. I work for Sheriff Coltrane and J.D. Hogg and if you deal with them, you will get conned. I eat the General Lee's dust and I constantly drive my patrol car into the Hazzard Pond. I wreck a lot of cars because the Duke Boys are who I have to chase. People make fun of me because I always have a silly grin on my face. I was humiliated when Bo and Luke hung me on the wall like a side of beef. Rosco always calls me a dipstick and because of him, I've seen a lot of grief. Daisy won't marry me even though I try again and again. I guess that I'm doomed to die a sexually frustrated virgin. (This poem was inspired by The Dukes of Hazzard TV show.)