Depression and Sadness

I was living in darkness My world came down Crashing on me I felt like someone Stabbed me and twisted The knife and pulled My heart out of chest I wanted to escape reality I wanted to be erased I wanted to die I felt so alone Friends really weren't friends I had cut both wrists I jumped into traffic I still couldn't die y It's not my time GOD replied when you finish My assignments you will go home I had overdosed on crack My heart had stopped by Grace of GOD and his healing and Miracles he showed me What my death bed Would be like if I Didn't get out of darkness Go back to being in light You can't serve two God's Our GOD is a jealous GOD So I started to change My surroundings and environments And got olive oil and anointed my whole House speaking GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY IN THIS HOUSE NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER GO TO THE PIT OF HELL WHERE YOU BELONG IN JESUS NAME AMEN ALL I CAN SEE WAS SHADOWS OF DARKNESS SURROUNDING ME WHERE I GO I HAD OPENED THE PORTAL OF HELL AND DIDNT NO I LET SATAN'S DEMONS INTO MY LIFE I HAD TO PRAY AND ASK GOD TO TAKE THESE EMOTIONS FROM ME MAKE ME PURE FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS COME INTO MY HEART AND GUIDE ME SHOW ME HELP ME AND LOVE ME TAKE THIS HURT PAIN ANGER RESENTMENT ABANDONMENT NEGLECT RAGE SUICIDE THOUGHTS HOMICIDAL THOUGHTS AND GUILT AND BLAME AND SHAME AND SORROW AWAY FROM MY HEART MY CHEST IS POUNDING IT HURTS SO BAD NO ONE LOVES ME NO ONE WILL ACCEPT ME OF WHO I AM NO ONE CARES FOR ME NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME WHY AM I HERE ON EARTH MY OWN CHILDREN HATE ME WHAT DO I POSSIBLY HAVE LEFT HERE LET ME DIE MY WORLD HAS BEEN TORN UPSIDE DOWN I HAVE NOTHING WHY WONT YOU JUST LET ME DIE I DON'T BELONG HERE ANYMORE THEY DON'T LOVE ME NOR DO THEY WANT ME IN THEIR LIVES IM SO DEPRESSED DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO