Denial vs Healing
Entry for contrast poetry contest. Hilo Poet
To keep the denial alive, meant not sitting still
Filling days with work and fun, escapes of all kinds at will
These days seemed fine, my face showed off smiles
No-one could see inside, no-one could know anything is wrong
I raced around all kinds of places, met people, socializing beyond limits
Some memories are valued, all spontaneous and free
Some things in those wild, younger years, defined me
This was until life took a sudden shocking turn as if lightening hit
The curtain of denial fell the first day of a new year
Days turned dark and nights were even more treacherous
Waves of truth were overcoming me, like I was being swallowed
I had to shift my focus completely to a mode of survival
It was time to speak all denied, emerging like a butterfly from cocoon
The movement of me changed to more challenging work instead of play
Creative projects still came to my rescue, with a piano and pen
In this transition, my purpose became clear, like seeing Northern Lights
Everything I did from that day forward is built upon this
I have been building a castle based upon everything that I believe
There is no turning back, only turning new pages of my life
Now, I live the moment authentically, with determination
I look back at this contrast, that very well may have saved my life
I have been granted more time as courage builds within
I am not afraid to look in the mirror or face what defines me now
I would only be afraid to return to the time I spent days, running from myself
I guess at the time, I thought I could, as the mind plays tricks
Thankfully now, I have faith to get through new storms that brew
I understand everything in the castle I build with all that is new
Heidi Sands
Denial vs. Healing
6/26/24
Placed 5th in Premiere Contest
Copyright © Heidi Sands | Year Posted 2024
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