Christopher Goss | + Follow Poet |
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Defeated

My soul was broken and battered
The pieces of who I am left scattered
For years I battled to find the real me
With pain written on my face for all to see

Addiction is an affliction 
And it makes peace just fiction
Snow rains on my heart
In a world that tries to rip it apart

So just know I have no plan
When I come to you a broken man
My eyes are full of tears
And my heart is full of fears

Will I ever find out who I truly am
Or continue living this sham
In the face of a world that doesn't give a damn
I'm just God's lost lamb

I just want to feel like I matter
But if I was run over and a blood splatter
Would anyone see the person I yearned to be
Or is death all that can set me free

My heart is black as coal
But genuine love could make me whole
But I don't deserve it
So it leaves me in a fit

Life's silence is the real answer
After two decades maybe I am the cancer
Maybe I am a villain to be hated
But was that truly always fated

I'm so tired of trying
I'm so tired of crying
My will to live is frying
And perhaps dying 

My nights are filled with nightmares
And it feels like nobody cares
I lost so much along the way
And I'll be honest I'm not okay

When death seems like bliss
I await the Grim Reaper's kiss
Life is a raw deal
And nothing seems real

Copyright © Christopher Goss | Year Posted 2023

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Jeanette Swan Date: 12/31/2023 4:21:00 AM You have written a poem that describes a scary and desperate place. I like the hope in the phrase you wrote that you see yourself as the 'lost lamb'. The lost lamb is a precious image to me. These are the ones that the good shepherd seeks and finds and loves. And there is joy in heaven when one is found! Prayers that will be you! Login to Reply

Tom Woody Date: 12/30/2023 4:48:00 PM These kind of poems are so prolific that it's hard to tell what's real and what is just a fictional write. So, I'll say this: Agape love has saved many an addict Chris. Jehovah is the true God and Jesus Christ is his son. Both of them love you and want to help (John 3:16). You just have to let them in, and I don't mean going to church Login to Reply Tom Woody Date: 12/30/2023 4:49:00 PM PS. Real help for addiction, depression, suicidal tendencies etal can be found at JW.org. just use the search engine