Deeply Scarred
Deeply Scarred
Oh it must be nice
To be alone with your thoughts at night
There’s something there
A quiet noise
Beyond a point in the distance
Of knowing
Of condition
Mocking my existence
Can’t put a face to it
It worries me
I’ve tried quite a few things
I’m just far enough away that I can’t reach it
Deeply scarred and broken into empty parts
Sometimes I need a good cry
Too tired and afraid to feel otherwise
It will kill them if I die
Good heavens
I mustn’t be late
My father’s wrath
Is all too great for comfort
I’ve brought it onto myself
I need not pity
For I will sink deeper into it
And feel even more alone
No complaints
And no peace
I break down
Much is to be forgotten
And most left to regret
The head needeth a compress
Fallen leaves gather at my feet
A grasshopper in the meadow
Becoming one with the green
Abandoned hope
Oh, the madness
The madness
Lost to fantasies
Then it all comes crashing down
And deeper I sink into the hole
A reminder that the highs
Reduce me to no more than a circus animal
I’d rather have it quiet
But I get tense in the midst of it
I prayed them not to leave me
But they did every time
I’ve got the mind of a child
I owe it to Him
To get it right
I’ve got a case of nerves
Only ecstasy can distract
Sleepless nights - energized
An overly inflated ballon
Sure to pop
A numbing silence bestowed upon me
And away with my tongue it went
Racing thoughts
A chatterbox
I didn’t know who I was
Or what I’d become
I spoke of folly and of most certainty
I long to find my place under the sun
Marckincia Jean
Free verse
08/07/20
Copyright © Marckincia Jean | Year Posted 2020
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