Deeply Scarred

Deeply Scarred 



Oh it must be nice  
To be alone with your thoughts at night 

There’s something there
A quiet noise 
Beyond a point in the distance 
Of knowing
Of condition 
Mocking my existence 

Can’t put a face to it 
It worries me 
I’ve tried quite a few things 
I’m just far enough away that I can’t reach it 

Deeply scarred and broken into empty parts 

Sometimes I need a good cry
Too tired and afraid to feel otherwise 
It will kill them if I die 

Good heavens 
I mustn’t be late
My father’s wrath
Is all too great for comfort

I’ve brought it onto myself 
I need not pity
For I will sink deeper into it 
And feel even more alone 
No complaints 
And no peace 

I  break down
Much is to be forgotten 
And most left to regret 
The head needeth a compress 

Fallen leaves gather at my feet 
A grasshopper in the meadow
Becoming one with the green

Abandoned hope
Oh, the madness 
The madness 
Lost to fantasies

Then it all comes crashing down
And deeper I sink into the hole
A reminder that the highs 
Reduce me to no more than a circus animal 

I’d rather have it quiet 
But I get tense in the midst of it
I prayed them not to leave me 
But they did every time 
I’ve got the mind of a child 

I owe it to Him
To get it right 
 
I’ve got a case of nerves  
Only ecstasy can distract 
Sleepless nights - energized 
An overly inflated ballon 
Sure to pop

A numbing silence bestowed upon me 
And away with my tongue it went
Racing thoughts
A chatterbox
I didn’t know who I was 
Or what I’d become 
I spoke of folly and of most certainty

I long to find my place under the sun 





Marckincia Jean 
Free verse 
08/07/20
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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