Death Wish

Death Wish. Do we have them? Are they real? How do you get one? Death Wish. Does it make sense? Is it what we strive for? Is it a good thing? Death Wish. I thought only crazy people thought like that. Death wish? That's nuts! Who would want death? But then I had a bad wreck. I remember thinking, "God, I've had a great life, I know I'm going to die, but it's okay." Only it wasn't. Because I walked away. And believe it or not, and I would have never believed this if it had not happened to me.... I felt disappointed, because in one split second I expected to die; and my abject instant post-non-death- feeling was SEVERE disappointment. Death Wish means to me something totally different after that wreck. It means that my spirit self, my true self, my self that will go back to God or the source, or the light, knows that there is something glorious waiting. Death Wish for me is okay. Comforting even. I never thought I could feel that way, but I do.