Death Took a Day Off

Death called Illness I have it! She screamed. Illness began guessing. The black plague? The white plague? The red plague? What the heck was the red plague? Death remembered suddenly why she never called Illness. I have to go, she said. I have a call on my other line. She was coughing up a lung now; her throat was sore. It felt like an oak tree forest was sitting on her chest. Death called Lucifer’s assistant, Lola. I am taking the day off, she said. No souls will be released today. Lola said “Fine by me, I have paperwork, but you have to call THE MAN.” Can’t you handle that for me?” Death pleaded. She coughed loudly, hoping Lola would relent. You’ll be fine, Lola assured her. It’s not like you do this every day. Heaven’s lines were busy all day, so no one knew Death took the day off. Suspicious arose in the middle of the afternoon though When no souls had arrived for eight hours. Prayers are in full force today, an angel said. God smiled. Because Death took the day off.