Dear You

Dear you, the markings on my pink wall spelt us with a pierced heart in between; 11:30pm, a black ink painted across the letters a stroke at a time, until they turned into a smudge of hatred; regret; and lost love. The pierced heart remained, but the arrow was never that of cupid, I realised it was a poisoned arrow all along, green venom dripped, jealousy, hatred for a her I believed existed in your dreams while you laid beside me with your arms around my waist, and eyes shut, you thought of her till she became flesh and blood, the one who you named yours. 12am, I began to ponder what if she never did exist, and she never took your midnight hours and your last name?, streets in your head I never did cross cos you never had my hand in yours. It's a new day, but my thoughts are stale 'cos here I am asking if you still wanted the heart to stay on the wall on display, hidden behind my green curtains, Only to be seen when I needed something to cry about, and When the breeze blew in swinging the curtains to dry the tear drops falling. I’ll ask again, do you want the heart to stay? the heart no longer beats, but silly me, it never did, although there was once I felt it did, the night I pressed my trumpet ears beneath your left breast, it was magical, the thumps called my name, an electric wave of an EKG bouncing till it fell flat the moment you cut our lines, and I couldn't reach you. Dead!, it was, dead from the very start, a mere marking never meant much to you, because you weren't there when I made us into the markings, Immortalised on my pink wall, and now you ain't here still, when it's all gone. part of me knew you were a fantasy in stormy clouds, but I still dreamed, and when that rain fell veiling the sun that we had, I knew it was time to let go and free fall back to sleep where the night mares were less, and my bed was cold with just my heat. It's time to go, it's time to let the smudge dry with my tears of you this hour. 9am, I walk down the street and say how do you do? as though I never thought of you, as though I was complete.