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Dear Victor

Dear Victor

The day you walked in I was just ten years old and for the first time I felt the gentle butterfly flutters of a young hearts innocent attraction. 
I wasn't the only one. With your floppy golden hair and aqua blue eyes your arrival caused quite a stir and class distraction. 
Vivacious, popular among boys and girls alike, open in a way we weren’t used to. 
Your candour brought forth such delightful laughter and certainly more than the odd blush from me! 
Many a lesson trying not to gaze in your direction. 
My one and only lashing of the belt for tracing a handwriting exercise in my haste to escape the classroom to join you in the afternoon sunshine. 
The teacher having left the door tantalisingly ajar so that those still inside were tormented by the sight of shirt tails flying in the breeze and the sweet smell of freshly mown grass. 
The valentine card I sent (well, had someone sneak onto your chair!) had pride of place, hidden under your pillow at home. Your older sister taking me to show it there, both of us giggling and shushing each other as we went. 
Any mortification at being unmasked as the sender lost in the sheer giddiness of this sudden turn of events. 
Never boyfriend and girlfriend, too young for that. We stole playful kisses during postman’s knock at parties (somehow it was always you who came knocking) and when just a little older, we danced all the slow songs together. 
New school, new classes, new faces. No falling out, just a natural drifting away. 
I still liked to catch a glimpse of you amid the throng in the corridor just to know you were okay. My day made if I caught a smile.
Though no longer close, the news you were leaving left me sad and a with quiet sense of loss. I never got to say goodbye.
Every year I wished you a happy birthday in my heart - mine and yours being only two days apart.
A chance meeting, an acquaintance not seen since school, tossed me a casual remark - had I heard? Scant details barely registering. No? Really? I mimicked their casual tone.
Walked away angry, reeling, such tragic news imparted with such lack of feeling. 
No tears were shed for you. How could they, it wasn’t real, couldn’t be true. Just malicious gossip that had somehow filtered through.
Twenty years on, another chance encounter, this one moss edged and worn. 
No longer able to deny the truth there etched in stone. Finally the tears flow. 
I’ll never know what truly unimaginable pain caused you to take your own life nor, selfishly, do I want to. I only know that the torture of vicious bullies led to a young life being snatched away.
Forever dear Victor. I’ll treasure always my sweet memories of you.


In memory of 
Victor Wladysiuk
9th October 1975 - 10th October 1991

 

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 12/22/2016 9:43:00 PM
Hello Poet. I read all your poems from first posted to last posted, this evening. I like to do this occasionally when I find a poem list short enough to cover in one sitting. Thank you for sharing your words. Your keen expression of emotion and concise composition of thought speak clearly of your compassionate heart. Your story telling in this poem, Dear Victor, is stellar. Again, thanks for sharing ~ john
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Date: 9/7/2016 12:06:00 PM
Thanks for posting this beautiful but sad write, I too know a high school friend who committed suicide it was shocking, it's so sad when they feel that is the only answer. Well done!
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Date: 9/4/2016 12:24:00 PM
OMG. I did not think it would be suicide. he was bullied?? IS that what you learned? Fiona, this is incredibly sad, but your talent with the pen has restored your memories beautifully for us to read the words. FAVE for this one.
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Fiona Callaghan
Date: 9/4/2016 4:41:00 PM
Sadly Andrea it was indeed bullying that led to his suicide. The few finer details I learned I could not bring myself to put into words - it still breaks my heart to this day to envisage his final moments. I thank you dearly for taking the time to read this, every word is true. I was wandering through the cemetery where my grandmother is buried when my partner pointed out the odd name on the headstone. I have long awaited the time when I could honour his life in the only way I know how to.
Date: 8/26/2016 3:46:00 AM
A touching and heartfelt tribute in memory of your friend, Fiona. It is always tragic when the only solution to end pain is to take yoyr own life. T.J
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Date: 8/24/2016 2:12:00 AM
This is absolutely heartbreaking to read. You have beautifully expressed sweet, funny and warm sentiments of him. I feel this is a lovely tribute...his lasting legacy is through your most touching words, his kindness is remembered not the 'bullies'. It is my hope that we can all think 'twice' before speaking so another will not have to suffer. I admire your courage to write such an incredibly sad piece. You have honoured him with your profound words and caring heart. blessings, lynn
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Fiona Callaghan
Date: 8/25/2016 12:44:00 AM
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my piece. It was a difficult one to write but also therapuetic in a way as I finally put into words what I'd held inside all these years. Digging deep into my memories brought both smiles and tears. Your kind comment moved me and also brought few tears. Blessings to you Lynn. Fiona