Dear Self

Dear Self, I'm oh so sorry I let you down, so many uncountable times Sorry I ignored your cries and pretended I didn't hear them, though they were all what was ringing in my ears I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you and thought I was Ok without you Sorry I left you crying your heart out in the rain while I had such a good time Left you shattered at home, sealed in a closet, ashamed of yourself Hoping to come home and not find you All I can do is stroke this gentle pen on this paper Stroke down my feelings, For you My broken words are all I have to offer The years floated by so quickly Like an idiot I sat there and watched, afraid to blend in Where were my motives, my burning passions, my hunger for life? For all those I needed Hope, a candle put out by reality a long time ago —or was it by me? Sorry again, for being the weak link in such a strong chain For being the letter left not mailed, the uncooked meal The unpainted painting, the unaccomplished plan The loser of the battle for survival Sorry for being a wilted petal, a worn out tree in such a strong thunderstorm called Life Sorry for being so scared to move So glued to my spot, afraid to budge, face the world I'm now paying with my crimson regret, I assure you, if it makes you feel any better Please forgive me, I beseech you I know I cancelled reality long ago, to float my way through fantasy, wait for dreams to come true by themselves Watched my heart crumble in the wind and my hope fly away like ashes I kept wishing beneath brilliant stars, kept blowing eyelashes and looking for four- leafed clovers It all went in vain, and left you there watching me, pitying me, crying for me Please find it in your heart to forgive me, and I hope we can start all over again, working together this time… Sealed with a kiss of everlasting love, Me