Dear Me,
I can feel my 40 year old mind awake from slumber;
But these brown eyes stare back at me with a defiance
That I know to have belonged to a 14 year old me.
Consider this unsolicited advice from a doppelganger.
That pale white butterfly you tried to catch?
Chase it across brooks and fields. Chase it till it tires you.
Then come panting back home. Empty-handed.
There's a new rose bud in my garden today.
That tree with red beads and thorns you wanted to climb?
Climb it. Fall down. Scrape your elbow. Bleed.
Climb it nonetheless. Reach for those branches.
Memories of that view still leave me breathless.
Hate your brother for throwing you into the pond.
Cry. Throw up a fuss. Swear at him. Punch the air.
He'll stand up for you, everyday, everywhere.
Also he babysits the kids for free. So play nice.
Ask for the last piece of cake. Ask for more time.
Do not ever be ashamed to ask. It's only right.
Do not ever be hesitant to give. It's always kind.
This world is run by matchstick figures who trade.
Change your mind and your plans. Go to the movies.
Grab some caramel popcorn and settle down by yourself.
Use both armrests. Lean back and fall asleep. But do not snore.
I wish I could get rid of some of these traders.
Deface that wall. Spray paint on the floor.
Leave oily handprints on those pristine bricks.
It’s okay. Your father will ground you. But it's okay.
As an adult, I can't afford to do that anymore.
Find the latch and escape out of the window.
Get out. Take just a backpack and a pair of shoes.
Shoes that'll run miles chasing thunder and dandelions.
I can still smell the adventure and the salt.
Fall in love with the ocean and run into its waves.
Your mother will drag you back by your ears.
Refuse to speak to her for a day. Then go hug her.
It was never her fault. I love my kids just the same.
Wear out those skinny blue jeans. They fit you just fine.
Let your tears and treats stain them. Keep those stains.
They are bedtime stories your grandchildren will ask for.
Can't fit into anything skinny these days, dammit!
Ask people to shut up. Seek out your silence.
Pay no attention to the banter.
Your mistakes are yours to make and unmake.
Someone, someday will fall in love with your flaws.
So burn the fire and welcome the success.
But do not rest a crown too long on your head.
Always make space for another.
You'll make it here happy and hurt.
Copyright © Neethu Roy | Year Posted 2018
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