Get Your Premium Membership

Dear Ex

Dear Ex, I know you and I had our differences. We were always finding new ways to say I loathe you. It was my blameworthiness that allowed the rain to enter your car, because your window was down. I’m sorry I didn’t carry my 9 months of pregnant girth, down four flights of stairs, to the outside parking deck, in the rain to roll it up. It was my fault when the bank account was overdrawn by 6 cents, due to paying all the bills on time. I apologize for keeping the power turned on so I could cook fish sticks and green bean soup on your salary. It was my fault the car was always out of gas, since I never drove it anywhere. What could I do but apologize for that? It was totally my fault. By the way, I met your supervisor. Like when I forced you to have an extramarital relationship with a co-worker because of the weight I had gained. I’m so sorry my Motherhoodness was so repulsive to you. It also was my fault our marriage didn’t last longer than 3 years, because I chose to be happy without you. I do regret that almost never. Did I mention my promotion? But let’s not be sad. For all the hurtful comments I made about your manhood because, I couldn’t think of anything nice to say. I’m sorry. I regret that I didn’t save some of those photos for Ripley’s Believe it or Not. I deeply regret having never told you I entered you in an ugly man contest. Or that your third placement, won me an additional $5 gift card. Did I mention my new job? So Ex, I hope this heart felt letter of apology finds you prosperous and in good health. Keep those support payments coming, and Don’t forget to feed the kitty! Love, your new boss

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 6/18/2009 4:08:00 AM
HAHAH LMBOOOOOOO!Terrifffffffffffff's!I love This One<3 Gone to my Favs!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/17/2009 2:42:00 PM
Login to Reply
Date: 6/16/2009 7:14:00 PM
you are special! Sandra! ; ) lotsa fun!!! and thanks! your comments on my poem make me smile! and I like smilin' jim
Login to Reply
Date: 6/16/2009 4:18:00 PM
boy that's a zinger! You go girl! How's the wee one? Light & Love
Login to Reply
Date: 6/16/2009 1:00:00 PM
darn it our copy machine is down. sometimes sadness can be hillarious. and this was one of those times. whats that word "blameworthiness" lol your the one who should write for tv. John Henry Loving III
Login to Reply
Date: 6/16/2009 10:44:00 AM
You go girl, lol. Really enjoyed reading this and had me smiling, ok grinning at how you ended this. very well done. Love Heidie
Login to Reply
Date: 6/16/2009 6:51:00 AM
You wrote from the point of view that so many will identify with....great job, Sandra...clever and full of humor!!! Good luck...looks like a winning poem!! ~ Carrie
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2009 10:17:00 PM
AA , clever , crafty and witty piece ....
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2009 8:38:00 PM
I LOVE IT! From woman to woman this is wonderful! The last line had me rolling. Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful write. Lots of Love, Misty
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2009 8:02:00 PM
Ok...I am laughing because this letter had me going...felling this heartfelt apology then the ending just had me rolling..this is so good and very clever..genius idea..great writing.
Login to Reply

Book: Reflection on the Important Things