Dear Diary

Dear diary I know I have been making choices I probably should not make But Im not going to act happy im not going to be fake, Im scared alone hurt and confused Post traumatic stress because I used to be abused, Im sad afraid and unhappy with how I look Scared to open up after all Im not a book, Bulimic I am and ugly yes that too Im so dissatisfied with life I do not know what to do, Ive been in homes they have tried to repair me but I am not a car None of their ideas or repairs have helped so far, Hospitals Ive been there but they drug me up thats all So many medications I looked like a zombie and all over I would fall, All i ever wanted is for the pain to go away Thats hard to do when I see these scars every single day, Constantly im being reminded of the reasons I used to self harm And it is not only when I see my legs and arms, It gets thrown in my face by so many people everything from my past I wish they would leave the past behind so I could be happy at last, People think it is alright to bring stuff up I find that strange They can bring up these things and expect that you will change, Dear diary thank you so much for being here to listen when nobody else is going to Without you to let me vent I dont know what Id do