Dear Diary
Dear Diary
It's the 13th June today
It should be a Friday
An unprecedented day
Dark as my mood
You see diary dear
Today she asked me
What's your greatest fear?
For awhile I sat quiet
Debating if she deserved a reply
Deep in the recess
In the abyss of my mind
I could feel emotions resurface
Fighting their way to my conscience
Colliding, in their haste to escape
I remembered why I had shut them out
Why for years they were prisoners
I will not allow it dear diary
I will not remember
Fear is not attractive
About it, words I cannot mince
I will not phrase or utter memories of it
Lest my mind obeys
And tribes of the forgotten tumble into my head
I will not remember my fears
And when she asks
What are you afraid of?
How can I say - being alone
When I know her questions will dig deeper in my subconscious
In a place I have long left
Where I have fought to escape
A place I will not return to...
Diary,
Loneliness is a dark place
Nothing dwells there but emptiness
Layers and layers of sooted cold
slime
There is no exit door.
Once you are in,
It envelopes you there,
clinging to your very you
It will not let you go
It hates to be alone
So I tell you,
I cannot go back
I will not explore my mind
for thruths I'm not ready to deal with
I will not open a portable to which I cannot leave at will
I don't want loneliness as a friend
She clutches and chokes you
With her anxiety and worry
Eventually you lose yourself
As you try in vain not to be like her
© 2018 Moliehi Molupe
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