Dead Within a Shell of My Former Self.
I cry and so she does as well
Hold back, but myself is shown
Gain your composure as you
Shatter into fragments of your former self
But still hold yourself together as your
Not worth the effort to strive for
Worthless in a sense
As she cries in the arms of one she
Calls friend, when she speaks of the
Events, which have unfolded
Your name is never mentioned
When you cry on shattered dreams
She has no remorse as she crawls into
His arms
But why
why must I care so much
but apparently not enough
I forced her to cry and
I am damned for it
behold my weeping sorrow
as she ignores me
and so heartache becomes known
but I put forth the effort
effort to accompany her
to comfort her
and all that is returned are false smiles
and wishful thinking on my behalf
why hope for something that is never
why strive for tomorrow when today is nonexistent
slit and the scars become memories
a first instance of death within my eyes as
the blade draws near to my flesh
manipulating my mental image of perfection
as drunken fights become
my only shelter,
I am not myself now
will I ever be the same again
things have changed
I am far beyond help as I draw closer
to the abyss which I know as death
find something to protect my life
as I stumble into time as nothing more
than a guy who once cared too deeply
and now nothing exists
numb and cold
numb and dead
why must everything suddenly loose
its ambience...
...why must she not see past
former relations and realize
I AM REAL!
Copyright © Jeremy Himes | Year Posted 2006
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