Days of Christmas 12-31-14

On the first day of Christmas, My true love gave to me, A partridge in a pear tree. I have a Bradford pear tree in My front yard, But what the heck is a partridge? I think a partridge is a bird, I will search Google for the word. It has been heard In this song for more years than my 30. On the second day of Christmas My true love gave to me Two turtledoves and A partridge in a pear tree. I just recently watched Home Alone, So turtledoves are just plain Doves as far as I can tell, But I don't like birds, except from Far away. Birds are nasty, Birds carry diseases, Birds flutter in my face And bite me on the neck. On the 3rd day of Christmas, My true love gave to me Three French hens, Two turtledoves, And a partridge in a pear tree. But unless the three French hens Are ready to go Straight into my oven, I have no use for silly birds That I have never seen. On the fourth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me Four calling birds, So by now surely I must Need an aviary. On the fifth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me Five golden rings That don't go with a thing. On the sixth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Six geese a-laying to go with all The other birds in the aviary. On the seventh day of Christmas My true love gave to me Seven swans a-swimming, To also go in the aviary. On the eighth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Eight maids a-milking, To clean up after all the birds. On the ninth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Nine ladies dancing All the way down the wedding aisle. On the tenth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Ten lords a-leaping To go with the ladies dancing. On the eleventh day of Christmas My true love gave to me Eleven pipers piping Just to change things up a bit. On the twelfth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Twelve drummers drumming Which have given me a headache. By the time you get to day 12, Your head I'd pounding, Your waist exploded, And you're ready to send your True love back to the in-laws.