Andrea Dietrich Poet Haibun

Day of the Storm

children's laughter
 on the beach. . . 
storm clouds gather

  My husband, I, and our two teenaged children are enjoying a picnic when we feel slow heavy droplets that develop quickly into an assault of angry pounding rain. We rush to our boat to return to the dock twenty minutes away. My son and I are alongside the boat on WaveRunners we have rented. As the wind strengthens, mighty moving ridges came rolling before our eyes. Fear grips my heart; my son begins to sob. I call out,"It's ok," trembling in the downpour.

 All at once, one single billow heaves itself completely over our boat. My spouse and daughter desperately try to bail out water from the sinking boat as my husband directs my son and I to race to the shore for help. I now truly understand the reason for the name WaveRunners, for I am running for all our lives as my heart beats to the rhythm of the lake’s surging waves. 

  Help comes, but our rescuers drag our boat out of the lake upside down, wrecking it. Having just had a nervous breakdown months ago, my husband cannot bear the destruction of this prized possession, provider of his sanity.

our children's cries
as my husband blankly stares. . . 
my unheard pleas

Revised for the "Emotions that Rock You" Contest of Craig Cornish

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Sara Kendrick August 23, 2015 at 8:19 AM Stopping by with congrats..Sara

Eve Roper August 21, 2015 at 10:42 PM Andrea, 7I love the story hair-raising as it was I'm gladyou all made it okay. Hugs Eve

Dr. Upma A. Sharma August 21, 2015 at 2:01 AM Congrats on another wonderful win Andrea with this amazing haibun!

Skat A August 20, 2015 at 7:24 PM Andrea, Congrats on your HM win. SKAT

Jan Allison August 20, 2015 at 1:06 PM Dropping back with my congrats Andrea:-) it may be an HM this time but a top spot next time Andrea:-) hugs jan xx

Scott Thirtyseven August 18, 2015 at 8:01 AM Oh Andrea I am having a hard night of poetry soup... I really enjoyed this read, and your ability to tell a story certainly shines through. But I have had a lot of great entries for this contest, and therefore am being a little picky. I understand that the haiku should be able to stand alone from the prose, and I feel that yours are a little too dependent. Sorry my friend but this piece will not be making my top 20. Andrea Dietrich August 18, 2015 at 9:30 AM Scott , Don't worry . You should not do HM's if you feel we are not deserving! That's just me. Others may feel differently! You chose a very ambitious form to judge, one that few people understand completely. I, for one, am not in the habit of doing them but maybe one day I will understand how it's done. I'm still working on getting a haiku right! hahaha Scott Thirtyseven August 18, 2015 at 8:04 AM I will however be giving this piece a honourable mention, so that others will be able to follow the link, and enjoy. I would also like to tweet a link, so that my followers can read this great story. Please let me know if I may.

Anindya Mohan Tagore August 12, 2015 at 8:32 AM Horrible experience so wonderfully penned... I love Haibun, it gives you scope to explore the subject in whatever way you wish ... Cheers, Bobby

Rob Carmack August 8, 2015 at 8:21 PM Glad no one was hurt and hope the boat was insured. I am not familiar with Haibun, but I liked yours. Andrea Dietrich August 8, 2015 at 11:20 PM As I recall, the cost to repair it was around four grand. That was back in the 1990's!! And of course, I doubt that it was insured.

Sara Kendrick August 8, 2015 at 7:06 AM It is a well told story but sad..I am not sure about Haibun at all..I have looked it up at one time and have written some but they come in so many forms..Enjoyed reading your contest entry..Way to go..Sorry about the bad events in your life but God has a way of working these things out..Thanks for the visits to my page..Sara

Jennifer Walker August 6, 2015 at 5:50 PM What a terrible horrible day for you. But expressed so well in this poetic form.

Shadow Hamilton August 6, 2015 at 5:19 PM great haibun of a terrible experience Andrea remind me one day to tell you mine gl in contest hugs 7

Daver Austin August 6, 2015 at 3:39 PM Seems like troubles come by the car load. In this case, come in waves. A tear for Joe, and tears for Connie in her tough time. Love, daver

Matthew Anish August 6, 2015 at 2:20 PM I must look up the meaning of haibun. I went fishing from a boat a while back. I see that you write good prose as well as good poetry. do you remember Gilligan's Island? Peace & Love Matthew Anisah

Constance La France August 6, 2015 at 8:40 AM Andrea, what a horrific experience, a beautiful family outing turning into disaster, wonderfully penned 7 +++and thanks for visiting my something poem

Joe Maverick August 5, 2015 at 1:44 AM A strong tale from your experience's of life here Andrea, hope all is good there..'

Lindsay Laurie August 4, 2015 at 9:09 PM G'day Andrea... a great story that held up really well with the tension - thank you Andrea - Lindsay

Debbie Guzzi August 4, 2015 at 7:50 PM I think the memory is still too scary, remember to show not tell, check that the haiku are 2 parts not 3. Light & Love

Casarah Nance August 4, 2015 at 6:39 PM Wow, what a story, you had me right there with you, gave me goosebumps.

Tim Smith August 4, 2015 at 4:38 PM What a horrific tale Andrea. I am happy no lives were lost. Mother Nature can be very violent.

James Horn August 4, 2015 at 4:11 PM This has much to remind us of concerning two missing boys who are still missing. I wrote a poem about them. God bless you, your husband, children and family of the two missing boys. Jim Horn

Jan Allison August 4, 2015 at 3:51 PM gosh Andrea what a gripping story - I was hooked from start to finish - good luck in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx7