Darkness In Me
There's a darkness in me I've faced, chased, and sought erased. I've watched it grow and I've watched it shrink and it gave me time to think. This darkness exists purely of my own volition and I've given it voice and a mission. When I sift through the memories and drift through all the rifts and pains that stain my heart so badly I wish to rip it apart I find solace in one fact. One ironclad fact and that fact is that I still exist in a mist of pale blue hues and if I were to ever ignite the fuse it would set aflame my earnest muse. I was once told my eyes speak only lies. Then I was told my eyes held everything to despise and I cut ties with the world around me hoping to set free the darkness in me. Instead in that moment I made it grow larger until it threatened to consume. And I presume it was in that moment the pain would in fact resume. The darkness became a blight great enough to become my greatest plight on this nominal night.
But...there was another who said my eyes were wise and this dark guise was just a way to disguise a life of loneliness and phoniness. And maybe I can be forgiven when I've wanted to give in. A few seconds and one last breath, I was aware I could bring my very own death. But, send the Grim Reaper for I could not bring my own end. Reality around me could shatter but to at least one person I just want to feel like I matter. A person to hold me, and mold me into a being embraced not by the shadows but by the light. I'm running out of strength to fight this all on my own. A battle with demons is no battle to fight alone. Not when I've been shown I still have time to atone and reveal how much I've grown.
The truth is the darkness in me does not define me. Nor does it design me. It aligns with me. But ours is a marriage of circumstance and this dance is to be brief if I'm to ever find relief. So one last time I use rhyme to sap the strength of the shadows and wipe away all of the grime left behind. Tonight is the night I set free the darkness in me.
Copyright © Christopher Goss | Year Posted 2018
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