Cynthia Payne

To be sung to the tune of Lily Marlene, inspired by the lady herself and the film Personal Services - Cynthia played by Julie Walters. Underneath the lamplight in a leafy street in Streatham Lived a naughty lady, boy, and was she out to getum! She opened her door by day and night You know the one, it has a red light Don't be afraid, come play the game Our own Cynthia Payne (sing twice) She has so many girls you will be spoilt for choice From a Fiat Panda to a classy Rolls Royce Pay by the night or by the hour Just present your luncheon voucher We don't even want to know your name Our own Cynthia Payne (sing twice) If you pay by cash we do not charge the tax With no questions asked they just lay on their backs, And if you have unusual desires Our young girls will relight your fires You will be elated that you came Our own Cynthia Payne (sing twice) I can guarantee you will be back for more That's when you've recovered from being very sore Next time why not try two or three With added extras for an additional fee If you miss this you must be insane Our own Cynthia Payne (sing twice) When the night is over and you slowly will awaken Breakfast will be served with Crumpets, eggs and bacon But please don't mention the night before Or you will be right out the door Make another booking and please COME again Our own Cynthia Payne