Curtains 6-26-21

I changed my shower curtain yesterday. I was too short so I had to strain on my tiptoes to get each ring in place. My mind was not in my bathroom with me. It was transported to last September, when I moved into the apartment I used to share with him. I was too short to put my shower curtain up so he did it for me. I wanted to ask someone to help this time, too. I only had a few rings in place when I crumpled onto the bathroom floor crying. He was there for everything. I see him in everything I do and every place I go. I can’t go to Burger King without thinking about the countless Impossible Whoppers we ate. I can’t watch The Good Place without thinking about when we stayed up watching season four until 3am. I especially can’t go to Kroger without being reminded of when we bought the vodka and fruit punch for that night. I can’t even change a damn shower curtain. I can’t find a corner of this Earth that doesn’t remind me of him. I have been searching for something that can just be mine to associate. But I think the problem is that when someone is constantly lingering in your subconscious, they stick themself onto every single experience and memory until it’s all infected. I wish there were antibiotics for people.