Curse Upon Myself

I swore I’d never be happy again…was it my own curse I laid upon myself? A personal skeleton song I turned into a personal vendetta It would explain so much, yet so little in comparison Oh, how the mighty have fallen I have never been mighty in my life The façade, in which I carry, carries me into my own invincibility Hah! What invincibility remained has now transformed into vulnerability I can’t even stay in a room long enough Before I forget how to breathe, I never knew how in the first place The rising pit in my stomach burns like a pair of beady eyes burning a hole through the back of mine Is it my asthma returning or a combination of something worse? I’d rather not dwell upon or I’d overdose again on nitrogen and run out to find oxygen Do I need the assistance of a psychiatric? It’s been requested that I might; It’s been protested by me, I can do it all on my own But by these constant headaches, constant stimulation of my brain And the constant pain in the pit of my stomach, the race of my heartbeat Proves me all wrong Though I refuse to show it, refuse to lie down and take it But I have no choice; this may be my only chance So why do I now hang my head in defeat Put my pride in a display case and go back to my cave What’s the point of being out anymore? I can’t breathe my own air anyway All the air around me is stale and tainted; guess it matches my past exactly Laughing it off isn’t going to do it anymore, is it? Why not, I’m always the punchline….