Crushing

I faked my smiles so they believe I was fine Then sweep all my burdens away in a glass of wine. Drowned deeper in the tears of my mental crash. Washed my pain in agony, a blood bath . "Let me drink my past away with honor," I said; Maybe I can heal from those stinking wounds sooner. 'Let me twine the ropes and hang my past', I wished; Maybe the hefty ebbing corpse of my dreams will be lighter! One day the pastor asked me to stand- he prayed for me; Sprayed my head with the 'Holy' waters so i could see. It felt like a high school play; my heart laughed all my hopes out. Put my bible on the shelf and gave myself to demons for a feast I died, maybe a thousand times before redemption found me. As my pen bled pain on this paper I found the rain; It was on the walls of my heart that my poems shed the tears And when I was done, I found courage to fight all my fears.