Criminals- Part 1- Fiction

The morning arrived quickly
like some destined death at sunrise
this means its time to go
Across town to our morning job
waiting for us like the patient spider

I swear to you I didn't see him 
standing there at first
cloaked behind an umbrella of darkness
his eyes layed upon me like great weight 
on my shoulders; feeling his motives knowing 
what comes next.

We got him first
the guard I mean 
the latest stun g-- helps
he fell face first unto the damped
concrete.
We got away.


Copyright 2009 By Diiamond Rich
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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123
Johnson Avatar
August 19, 2010 at 9:02 PM
I started with nol 1, and I am afraid I will have to finish them. Thanks for your comment. Love, Joyce
Anish Avatar
August 12, 2010 at 4:17 PM
Reads like an action movie. Especially liked the imageofthe "patient spider" Thank you for your kind words
Sharma Avatar
July 25, 2010 at 10:32 AM
it is like a story..frame by frame.....nice.....
Ortiz Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 10:28 AM
This is a very good start, im heading to the second, i like it, this is gonna be good...
Trevino Avatar
July 15, 2010 at 9:56 PM
Wow, cool write, kinda like a comic book lol.. reading on:), =(^.^)=Royal
Beesley Avatar
July 15, 2010 at 7:13 AM
i ilke it.i am a huge fan of mob tales and criminal crusades.i'm a good guy but i often pull for the bad guys in the movies,and sometimes in reality
Thaker Avatar
July 13, 2010 at 8:20 PM
This one is nice!!!!!!! I love this type of topic!!!!!!!! Beautiful!!!!!!! I hope we will be able to read like this more!!!!!! Vrushani!!!
Sepulvado Anderson Avatar
July 13, 2010 at 7:11 PM
Very creative poem. on to part two.
Fraser Avatar
July 13, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Interesting poem Diiamond, it sure souns like a heist >> James
Austin Avatar
July 13, 2010 at 10:41 AM
On to number two
Guzzi Avatar
July 12, 2010 at 5:43 PM
OH good beginning! Light & Love
 Avatar
July 12, 2010 at 3:53 PM
Good use of imagery to share your thoughts. I see you recently joined our Soup family. Welcome! I hope you are enjoying your time spent here. Best wishes with your writing. Thank you for your kind comment. Karen
Blakeley Avatar
July 12, 2010 at 3:39 PM
UGH ! On my wiriting...You have just shown me how you can write in a very interesting form...with lots of words ! I really like your work. I hate mine.
Janvier Avatar
July 12, 2010 at 1:11 PM
This is nice...the vivid picture painted in the mind...I shall read the rest
Ra Avatar
July 12, 2010 at 12:16 PM
not bad, I'll have to read the rest to be able to judge.
Orschell Avatar
July 12, 2010 at 11:16 AM
And the criminals begin there escape. Well on to number two I can't wait to see what you have in store for us. Love the story. Love Destiny
Chachere Avatar
July 11, 2010 at 11:46 PM
sounds very dark and makes your reader want to know more. sorry for the late reply, i have been busy. but i find this story very interesting and tempting to read further. ~Always&Forever Lynette
Wilkins Avatar
July 10, 2010 at 10:57 AM
hi, nice write, i enjoyed it different from what i usual read as its from a different point of view nice write! Welcome to poetry soup and thank you for your comment! ~Crystal~ x
Hero Aka Hero-Wilson Avatar
July 8, 2010 at 8:02 PM
Congrats on being featured on being featured. Rhonda hero
Spence Sr Avatar
July 7, 2010 at 1:34 PM
This sounds very intriguing. I like the flash action in the imagery. I will be reading the next part soon. Great job! Joseph
Knop Avatar
July 6, 2010 at 5:41 AM
Wow, Diiamond, you must feel happy about so many comments on your poem! And congrats on your featured poem! Very well written and welcome to Soup. Thanks for sharing your writes with us...And of course thank you for commenting my poetry...Have a nice week...Gert
Brown Avatar
July 6, 2010 at 3:32 AM
Congratulations on your poetry being featured this week at PoetrySoup Diiamond. May you have many more features. Love,Carol
Slaughter Avatar
July 5, 2010 at 2:43 PM
Welcome to the Soup! This was a unique poem, the story is different, but the writing is very good! I'm going to read the next part too! Thanks for sharing!
Monteblanco Avatar
July 5, 2010 at 1:35 PM
Thanks for the comment! I loved this poem, it's very mysterious and it makes me want to read the next 1! By the way, welcome to the family!!!
Sweetheart Avatar
July 5, 2010 at 11:25 AM
WoW congrats Diamond Rich on your featured poem this week on the Soup.. a great one to share with us all.. with luv from the "Sweetheart" in Hawaii.. AlohA Land..
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