Crazy Me
I feel like hurting myself, I’m sorry, Lord
Don’t know why I feel the urge crawl into me
With crooked, malicious, wicked discord
I need scars of soaring, eager sympathy
To be my shadow beneath me
I love the wanting-wondrous-things-and-searching-for-help thing, honestly,
Is beautiful and amazing is what I see in everything and anything good genuinely
You saw behind my crazy
Behind my crazy
Behind my lonely, crazy ol' mindset and daily-thumping heart
You saw behind my crazy
Behind my crazy
Behind my crazy manias that get me upset and so torn apart
It was inside me,
I remember the anxious and mad craziness
Was inside me
Somewhat making me move in utter dizziness
I will survive to see
Your empathetic ember that scorches away hopelessness
Burn on,
Shine on
I appreciate
Never will I hate,
Though I expressed it harshly before
It still hurts me to the one and only inner core
I need God's trait
Of lovely joyous state
I hesitate due to thoughts of my future fate –
It scares me to ponder about it time and time again…
Where do I begin? Where am I supposed to begin?
What will happen? Must I wait?
What if I break under pressure?
Would I be too late? Too late?
Why am I left always so unsure?
So, should I persevere all throughout
Instead of fear and constant doubt?
You saw behind my crazy
Behind my crazy
Behind my lonely, crazy ol' mindset and daily-thumping heart
You saw behind my crazy
Behind my crazy
Behind my crazy manias that get me upset and so torn apart
It was inside me,
I remember the anxious and mad craziness
Was inside me
Somewhat making me move in utter dizziness
I will survive to see
Your empathetic ember that scorches away hopelessness
Burn on,
Shine on
Waiting for patience and for patience alone…I am alive and a survivor
While I feel unbearable, buffering suffering
I am a deep-water diver, diving into my mixed drink, sweet screwdriver
While I deal and fight with the battles tiredly
Please pardon my inquiries about why I fall into the temptations of iniquities
They are bothersome and exaggeration pumps up their tires of ruined desires
Suppose happiness comes and goes, all unknown
I don’t like being in the crowd at this bar for so long
I don’t need and want to belong, whether it’s right or wrong
Dreaming aloud in my mind's cranium
Thinking I could be as quiet and calm as the breeze at ease,
Yet loud with pitter-patter rainfall,
Fatigued and sick of feelings of titanium numb
You saw behind my crazy
Behind my crazy
Behind my lonely, crazy ol' mindset and daily-thumping heart
You saw behind my crazy
Behind my crazy
Behind my crazy manias that get me upset and so torn apart
It was inside me,
I remember the anxious and mad craziness
Was inside me
Somewhat making me move in utter dizziness
I will survive to see
Your empathetic ember that scorches away hopelessness
Burn on,
Shine on
Wish I could write authentic brilliantly
Like those New York best-sellers
Wish I can be glad and content frankly
I would be in mere satisfaction on another ascending level
That won’t injure, but to be a cast-to-the-river cures
Mind has been skipping childishly on hopscotch design since 1997
Kind of you to compliment me and our cheery generosity is even
Find me in the depths of delighted, illuminated serenity and its opportunity-tuned possibilities
Blind and lost, but will see and be found beyond the aches and wounds of sorrowful yesterday possibly…God, will You please?
Crazy me got to be put at ease, put me at ease…
Put doubt out the drain, that sickly soiled disease…
It’s sadly vast
Until it is cast
Into oblivion's sea
Then, turned into ecstasy…
I’m crazy,
You see?
You accept me
Thankfully!
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2018
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