Crawling Up the Mountain Backwards

all my life people have always told me, I'm doin' things **** backwards... guess I'm dumber than I thought otherwise they wouldn't say this unless they knew that they ought so I figured I'd test their theory, though it would make me weary I'd climb mount everest backwards on my knees hoping this would finally please these doubters and and those who tease well, I wish I could tell you, how heroically successful that I was a'las, this wouldn't be true I turned out to be an abject failure, and this has made me blue I have thorns all over my buttocks I have blisters on my knees my heart is heavy with failure, dear God, if you would only please, these tormenting fools, please let them ease I've suffered enough with my ego, now shattered into a thousand bits, and worse of all, I realize, nobody gives a sheetz