Jan Allison Poet Couplet

Notes About The Poem

Contests We Don'T Need No Stinking Contests

A Tongue firmly in cheek poem based on soup poetry contests

I can only agree with your sentiment Mister Lawless
Although I enter a few select contests nevertheless!

I know you’re discerning, and don’t show any bias
Yet with some sponsors wins they clearly deny us!

Some claim they judge blind, do they take us for fools
Buddies given top spots, they don’t follow their rules!

Regarding ‘no names’ once a sponsor soup mailed me
Saying ‘I could do better’ so my poem wasn’t top three!

I see crass decisions, syllable counts that are very wrong
A typo and poor rhyming, yet they still win a blinking gong!

What irks me is rhyming forms that have errors in the rhyme
Yet the sponsor declares the winning poem was totally sublime!

I take the risk with this contest, knowing I may get an n/a
If it doesn’t place I’ll put it in a ‘screwed’ contest one day!

For those who aren’t aware n/a stands for ‘not a chance’
Some even pull their losing poem in that circumstance!

I use contests to boost my creativity, I don’t enter every one
as it’s not the Nobel Poetry Prize when all is said and done!

I don’t need to enter every stinking poetry soup contest
Knowing many wins are fixed and MY poem was the best!

Contests!  We don’t need no stinking contests
Sponsored by John Lawless


7/21/18

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Susan Gentry August 22, 2018 at 10:00 AM Congratulations on your win. Well done.

Trish Fernandez August 20, 2018 at 4:42 PM Thanks 4 explaining n/a, congrats Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:30 PM It really means not applicable but I like my interpretation lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May August 20, 2018 at 12:42 PM This is based on truth Jan, and I like the humorous take on contests, and that applies to both Premier and Stansard contests, Congrats on your win.. Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:30 PM I enter fewer and fewer contests especially the premiere, I just use the contests to inspire me to be creative:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith August 20, 2018 at 10:18 AM Congratulations Jan, you bullied and shamed your way into the winners circle. Didn't think of that tactic. Way to go Girl. Most of the time I think I've failed to hit the enter button. Good for you and good for Mr. Lawless... Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:28 PM Thanks Charlie I was just glad to be on the winners list:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong August 20, 2018 at 3:13 AM You have made your point very well Jan. A contest I entered called for 'new poems only' yet the sponsor awarded a high placement to a poem written in 2016. If sponsors don't follow their own rules it is quite unfair to everyone involved. Your poem is spot on and I am happy to see it on the winner's list! Congratulations! : ) Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:20 PM I despair when I see some contests and the way they are judged and enter fewer and fewer these days and I know many feel the same:-( hugs Jan xx

Line Gauthier August 20, 2018 at 12:22 AM Absolutely, Jan. Your poem was the BEST. Love you! Great poem. Congrats on your win. Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:19 PM Thanks Line:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues August 19, 2018 at 2:46 PM I sometimes wonder if some are fixed. Some names still do find their way to the top when I’m a judge and then I go aha...they are just that good! As you are, dear Jan! Always a blind judge and a try to be fair judge. Enjoyed and congrats, my poetry friend! Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:10 PM Thanks Kim it is a somewhat tongue in cheek poem but I've seen it all since I joined soup lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. August 19, 2018 at 1:08 PM Hi Jan, I'm just coming back to say congratulations on your placement in the contest:-) Alexis Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:10 PM Thanks Alexis:-) hugs Jan xx

Heidi Sands August 19, 2018 at 12:04 PM Congratulations for your win Jan :) Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:09 PM Thanks Heidi:-) hugs Jan xx

John Lawless August 19, 2018 at 12:00 PM A rant of rhyming couplets. Nicely done Jan, thanks for playing.... Jan Allison August 20, 2018 at 6:08 PM Thanks for the win John:-):-) hugs jan xx

Eve Roper August 15, 2018 at 11:23 PM You won it for me, Jan, nicely done.. Jan Allison August 16, 2018 at 1:31 AM Thanks Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Jenny Brewer July 25, 2018 at 10:09 PM Hahaha, this is ace, hiya Buddy, just having a sneaky peeky, love this,bet you some people wont.... Haha. I hope you are keeping well my friend. Xxx Jan Allison July 26, 2018 at 4:21 AM Hellooooooooooooooo Jenny!!! Somewhat tongue in cheek but I have seen so much in the 4 years plus since I started on soup! must mail for a catch up!!!:-) hugs jan xx

M. L. Kiser July 23, 2018 at 7:29 PM Great piece! Jan Allison July 24, 2018 at 8:19 AM Thanks so much ML:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie July 23, 2018 at 7:18 PM G'day Jan … not for or against contests. Just don't enter them. I found when my daughter entered talent quests, the best judges of all are the audience (readers in this case). As with TV talent shows; it is really all about the judges - you tell it how it is Jan - thanks - Lindsay Jan Allison July 24, 2018 at 8:19 AM Thanks Lindsay:-) hugs Jan xx

Pandita Sietesantos July 23, 2018 at 10:59 AM Jan, this is an exceptional piece echoing the thoughts of many PoetrySoupers and I ditto those sentiments! This witty piece should place high in the contest. It's a fave for me! Love and hugs. Pandita Jan Allison July 23, 2018 at 12:17 PM Thanks Pandita it is somewhat tongue in cheek but I have seen so much in the 4 plus years I've been at soup and i doubt it will ever change:-( hugs Jan xx

Pat Adams July 22, 2018 at 2:49 PM I have to say, you tell it like it is. Anyone that doesn't already know that, hasn't been reading your poems. I avoid the contests because I'm not into drama and that seems like some waiting to happen. Well done to you and also to Mr. Lawless for coming up with the category in the first place!! (It really is a good source of inspiration though!) Jan Allison July 22, 2018 at 2:58 PM When I saw the contest title I had to smile and of course I couldn't resist this somewhat tongue in cheek poem but over the 4 years I've been on soup I have seen so many issues caused by contests I now write for fewer and fewer but may use the themes to inspire me to write:-) hugs jan xx

Viv Wigley July 22, 2018 at 1:20 AM Indeed, Jan, even judging blind one can often get a feel for an entrant's style, so it's not perfect. More often than not, I enter a contest because I'm struggling for a subject to write about, that's my only reason for entering, I suppose. Hope this does well. Viv x Jan Allison July 22, 2018 at 3:54 AM Exactly Viv more often than not you can tell the style of certain poets from the font and way a poem is formatted and even inadvertently seeing their title if a generic title isn't used. I like the way you ask for a specific title, shame more sponsors don't do this and ask for a unique title with the body of the poem:-)

Agnes Krampe July 21, 2018 at 5:49 PM Nice one, Jan. Hits the contest prompt spot on. It bugs me, too, when poems place that are technically flawed. One cannot argue personal preferences and taste, but technical mistakes are objective. Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 6:01 PM I agree with you about the personal preference and taste Agnes but when you see such glaring errors and the poems still get placed highly it really galls:-( hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane July 21, 2018 at 5:44 PM My dear Jan, if I am not the one Tom referred to in his comment he needs to add me because you mirror my thoughts and I'm so very proud of you for putting the things you mentioned under the light as I've done several times. I applaud you, chick! Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 5:59 PM I thought you would relate Lin as I know you've written about these things happening Lin and many are the reasons you stopped entering contests on soup. I enter fewer and fewer as time goes on:-( But it doesn't deter me from being inspired and writing poetry or is it pooetry in my case lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger July 21, 2018 at 5:28 PM This is terrific Jan! I love it! It is also an eye-opener, as I truly did not know a lot of this stuff. Like most of it. Novices are always the last to know. Good luck in the contest. You deserve extra points for blatant honesty. Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 5:35 PM I've seen a lot in the four plus years I've been here of course there is some poetic licence too Caren lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong July 21, 2018 at 4:37 PM Well placed lament of how some contests are judged Jan. I agree with this great entry and I hope it makes its way to the top! : ) Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 4:39 PM Only time will tell Connie, I just had fun writing for the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart July 21, 2018 at 4:11 PM Lol! ;) Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 4:33 PM Thanks Mo:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham July 21, 2018 at 3:58 PM Win or n/a this is an absolute gem, a winner for many. Someone will be proud of this one( you know who I mean ) Enjoy the weekend. Tom Lin Lane July 21, 2018 at 5:47 PM I'm very proud of her, Tom, and of you because she's a winner whether her name is on John's list on not....and she should take her tongue out of her cheek. Wink and hugs Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 4:33 PM Cheers Tom, after 4 years on soup I have seen a lot of things sadly some things haven't changed lol:-( hugs Jan xx

Frederic Parker July 21, 2018 at 2:38 PM Well, you just slap some sauce on that rib, this should do well...hmm unless you've already lost Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 2:51 PM LOL Frederic I've probably already lost lol but another n/a to add to my growing collection won't make any difference I will still keep on writing:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. July 21, 2018 at 2:07 PM Wow! Jan, This is great for the contest theme. You out did yourself with this one. I would be surprised if this doesn't place well in the contest. I wish you the best of luck in the contest:-) Alexis Jan Allison July 21, 2018 at 2:20 PM A somewhat tongue in cheek write Alexis, i have seen all of this and more during my time on soup lol:-) hugs Jan xx