Consuming Thought with a Burning Spoon

I'm not unmotivated, It's just hard to feel excitement when the only side I've ever seen of it, Was a mauled reflection I'm not disheartened, It's just hard to feel accomplished when its only ever been a withered flower in a cemetery garden How could I rationalize when I’m irrational? I can dream inside my wounded mind all I want, But the sexual tension between me and this character flaw, Might just be the most overlooked part of this story left unsolved But my hope and my expectations are in two completely different places I've only ever failed at this Take my Internal temperature And tell me these veins are nothing if not earnest as you feel my fingertips beckon you from the depths of the living room furnace I’m at the gates of your heaven And I couldn’t feel more extorted by this Screaming with an empty voice, Knocking with a weightless fist Oh no! I’m hiding my face again Release any mental photos so this won’t last any longer I miss the person I was before thinking like this Turns out I wasn’t taking lessons from Narcissus I’m visualizing things around me But they fade instantly I’m tracking a striking resemblance through reflective slivers Screaming with an empty voice, Knocking with a weightless fist, Lost in the black abyss lurking behind the bathroom mirror I've only ever failed at this But I'm not disheartened, It's just hard to feel prosperous when it’s only ever been a withered flower in a cemetery garden Screaming with an empty voice, Defending with a weightless fist, I leave my demons behind As they beckon me to surrender to the self-doubt embers arrogating the living room furnace