Consciousness

Even as I'm awake I dream of you, something I'm sure you already knew. My visions of happiness are from the heart, I know a big part of why we drifted apart. I've always tried to be there when it mattered, even with the fear that my consciousness might be shattered. I can't hold a grudge to save my life, I forget the past something I owe my wife. Feeling confused sucks at best, trying to sort out the problems and put them to rest. Knowing I can only fix myself and not you makes me feel helpless, mentally driving myself to live being selfless. I'm working on being a better person, something most people do their entire life and pray they don't worsen. Please forgive me for all that I've said and in life's run, My love is for two and can't be undone.