Connection Rejection

Coming out of my prison door Accompanied by my companion Not connected in any way ....but I knew him Barren wasteland, behind Freedom beckons my will I do NOT stop for direction But run headlong into the chill Wrapped tightly in failed attempts To connect to anyone with value I struggled in the comfort To rest in the battle I came to myself.... I had traded lock down For house arrest No movement possible In my shiny, white, vest ........of broken threads "A little help, please" My companion touched my white The shredded hope fell at his feet As he directed me to the right where I would find the light Door after door Window upon window Always passing through Never knowing the compass of victory Til I have done all I can do" ....to stand Stand moment after eternal moment In nothingness....learning to trust Calming down desire Singing lullabies to lust Silence is far worse than the stand The incessant push to understand .....something....anything..............nope, still NOTHING!!! How can one connect to authority Without yielding up self Carrying out their desires and commands And leaving yours to collect dust bunnies on a knick knack shelf ...........stupid knick knacks.......stop running.........you might break.........the pretties Today....at this very moment I understand things I didn't in my past I see the dark laid out before me Shall I stop my flow...to ponder Or continue in my sorrow, believing I will know more in the 'morrow Accepting that my yielded connections will have no more erections ..........to wonder...... ...............................in the desert........ Written by Trudy Schrader on 03/30/2021