Trudy Schrader Poet Free verse

Connection Rejection

Coming out of my prison door
Accompanied by my companion
Not connected in any way
....but I knew him

Barren wasteland, behind
Freedom beckons my will
I do NOT stop for direction
But run headlong into the chill

Wrapped tightly in failed attempts
To connect to anyone with value
I struggled in the comfort
To rest in the battle

I came to myself....

I had traded lock down
For house arrest
No movement possible
In my shiny, white, vest
........of broken threads

"A little help, please"
My companion touched my white
The shredded hope fell at his feet
As he directed me to the right where I would find the light

Door after door
Window upon window
Always passing through
Never knowing the compass of victory
Til I have done all I can do"

....to stand

Stand moment after eternal moment
In nothingness....learning to trust
Calming down desire
Singing lullabies to lust

Silence is far worse than the stand
The incessant push to understand
.....something....anything..............nope, still NOTHING!!!

How can one connect to authority
Without yielding up self
Carrying out their desires and commands
And leaving yours to collect dust bunnies on a knick knack shelf
...........stupid knick knacks.......stop running.........you might break.........the pretties

Today....at this very moment
I understand things I didn't in my past
I see the dark laid out before me
Shall I stop my flow...to ponder
Or continue in my sorrow, believing I will know more in the 'morrow
Accepting that my yielded connections will have no more erections
..........to wonder......
...............................in the desert........

Written by Trudy Schrader on 03/30/2021

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Funom Makama April 27, 2021 at 6:09 PM The height of creativity displayed in the power of imagination. Your ink is powerful Trudy Schrader May 8, 2021 at 6:44 AM Apparently, Daddy God gave me one gift only, connection. Poetry is my light saber...cleaning up ideas, entitlements, and self-preservation that are in opposition to LOVE. The point of being a human is to love with pure motives. May we all enjoy the process.

L Milton Hankins March 30, 2021 at 8:49 AM Very interesting write, Trudy. I wondered if you were documenting an escape or a release or a transfer, and I wondered about your companion "touched my white." Couldn't figure this out. I probably need to read this several times! Trudy Schrader March 31, 2021 at 5:59 PM This is a multi-layered work, like many threads coming together in one moment, allowing you to glimpse the effect of love on others. Daddy God told me that I have one gift, connection...and I have not missed one of opportunities to utilize that gift. I am a prisoner of LOVE, and it is the best life I could ever live.