Confusion Rains (Or Is It Reigns Or Reins?)

I suppose struggling bards (such as I) are wont to muse Upon profound or inane topics to propound our views. So, it occured to me how baffling the English language could be, To new arrivals to our shores from international potpourri. Will he ever master the usage of to, two, tutu and too? Should he order "coal" or "cole" slaw at his favorite rendevous? Plane could be a woodworking tool or is it that thing in the sky, Or something plain and simple or a plain of undulating rye? He tries to sort out the subtleties of yawl and ya'll, And the nuances of aunt, ant and if that ain't all, How can he figure out the use of maul, moll and mall? Is it a golf ball or a formal ball? 'Tis enough to make him bawl! He must ever ponder if a yard is three feat or three feet, And is addled about the use of peek, peak and pique. Is a pupil a kid in class or something to do with the eye? Buy, bi, by and bye, now what does each of those imply? His fear is that he'll never get it write or is it rite or right? He preys (or prays?) for deliverance from his fearful plight. Momma mia! He's bewildered and just wants to return home, To that Eternal City in Italy called Rome (or is it Roam?)! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)