Confusion

Hanging out with me may be whatever,
But talking to me,
When you really begin talking to me....
It's just like a flip is switched..
Or I flip some kind of a switch all of a sudden
And quite unexpectedly
And you start pouring out..

Saying and revealing things about yourself
About things.the way you feel.or have felt about
Everything or particular things
Because to me ,it's like talking to your own soul,
Infact,I may be just that ,
Sure, I'm out here living
and walking around now,Same as you....
But it's just like that inner....
That inward point of view and being..yours.

He is suddenly right here with you
Before your eyes,right besides you 
Caring, listening, urging, compelling,
Just setting you free
Many are so scare or frightened..Frozen
They never let this anger out...
This fear.. sorrow.. pain.. whatever it is
Whatever else it is..

These things bury me
Conceal and cover up
So scared of what they might say
What that then would mean too for having being said..
Fears, frustrations, confusion, am i a coward?
Am I a terrible person now?

I must be crazy,horrible,a monster, or terribly good....
Authentic,true being, kind, compassionate,
And if so ,what now
How can I , How could you?
So many things ....and these things...
Be they experiences or true feelings over things..
Not allowing these things to be spoken..
Heard by themselves...suits me out.... 
Then their soul...

It's like a dump truck of thoughts..
Feelings and emotions are overturned and really upon me..
And all this ...this weight ..covers me..
And forces me to go hard..
To just deal with this ever rising and increasing weight ..load..God it's heavy
And then I come around
Most never are really aware this has even happened

Copyright © Ayanda Dlanga | Year Posted 2022

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