Confused

I am trying to smile, But I am confuse. I was hurt by someone, But still not minding the cause. I just feel sad rather than mad. I am confused of my feelings, And trying to be naive. I feel the pain but I choose to laugh, I mask the smile, so people won't realize that I am hurting inside. But I really don't know what to feel. Though it's clear that I am disappointed, Maybe because I am expecting something. But more disappointed of myself, Because I am expecting to be stronger. I thought I will not get affected when people hurt me. But here I am again, hurting. But I am trying to hide it. I laugh and laugh, but I feel like crying. It's just that I have nobody to talk to about what I feel. Maybe I can handle this - I know I will. But well, i am laughing now and it felt better than minding the PAIN.