Confessions of a Fat Teenager Girl

I am fat ,I am trapped in my own body The pain I feel can not be compared to anybody's Everyday I wake up I feel heavier than yesterday. I am somehow unhappy but they don't see. Wherever I walk people stare like a cyclone is in town. The names they address me by are more heavier than my body. It's like I am in a far away place of which I scream and scream but despite my screams no one can hear me . I have no one to blame but myself in this state . I am unable to be a normal teenager furthermore . I am unable to live life ,yes I am breathing but I am dead. For a teenaged girl to live like this is a trauma. The process of losing weight is much longer than gaining it. Thus making it difficult for me to look like a model. I also would like boys to stare at me like I am Beyonce Fat is the devil in a physical form ,he is constantly attacking me.