Compulsive Engagement

The baby cries A shuddering, screeching, howling force that grabs her Mother by the throat, shaking her like a ragdoll, coughing, spluttering, spewing spit and tears flying from her face The cries were every other day at first, then every day, now every hour or less She knows now, they won't stop Until she finally makes it stop, finally, the only way she knows how She crawls to the table, opens her purse, takes out her debit card and scribbles the pin # with the bloody tears she's shedding on the back of the baby's tiny hand This is it, there's nothing left, the account's drained and all she has left is the knowing, that they'll be back for more and the cries will start again She empties her heart of what was left of her self/respect and dignity, pulls the cord tighter and kicks the stool away with her left foot Detachment, at last