Complete Isolation

Am I man or ghost? Am I mortal or apparition? Questions or choices or entwined reality? For a state of confusion sleeps within my fiber, and slowly rips asunder, the final sliver of my contemporary humanity, Sunrises and sunsets go unseen, as I fully embrace my departure from time, human contact, and connection, with a creative conviction and devotion to my only passion as an excuse, a deceitful reason to shelter myself from the tender moments that keep emotions empowered and empathy evolved, Yet truth is untied by introspection, and as I analyze, I accept reality, Seclusion has become to me, the fruit that protects the emotional body but imprisons the loving mind, and by this bittersweet conundrum, I am bound and devoted to this ambivalence, by the mere comfort and promise of being content, And by such a promise, I have personified my fear of emotional agony, yet tamed its risk with the fierce whip of isolation, thus the shame and allure become as one, And as I lose who I was, and tolerate who I am, my disconnection from humanity hurts those who care, yet keeps me safe, with ink as my final outlet, Still, as I sacrifice need for need, I am not the one who still suffers, Those with hearts that beat for me, have become victims of my seclusion, and I ache for them, but less and less with each breath, For my isolation continues to force its fee, and I notice only after it is taken, and as I see their pain, Only my thoughts are heard, my wishes important, and my contentment decreed, And despite visions of tears and sorrow that were once my salvation, Now, I only look away, and remain a willing prisoner in the sweet self shelter, of the nothingness I show, and will one day feel, without rue...