Commuter Widow

Trainspotting isn’t fun not when she’s dead tired arms of jelly ears full of tears baby wants baby wants pick the kids up from school strawberry jam sandwiches uneaten traffic jam ma I’m hungry baby wants baby wants make the dinner bake the cake bun in the oven bending over nightly shapes the body pays the price of new-born joy headache joyless thankless throb 9 to 5 paced out on the kitchen floor supermarket chicken would be good baby wants sweets 5 o’clock tick tock train halfway baby straps double check throb in at seven should be six-thirty commuter widow waits for the daily rebirth a partnership what a day I’ve had love he shallowly sits TV dinner bed make the shapes if both are able how did it come to this nearly dawn where’s his tie I used to be a woman intelligent bright outgoing he used to be a man wide-eyed unpredictable caring no time to care now we used to be together in this this mess baby just wants a hug the question you didn’t answer what’s left ? when reality robs us of dreams what do you see in me lined fatter turning sour at being cheated and then depressed when I realise I cheated myself out of a better life what’s left over ? what do you see when you look at me settlement or excitement is it still there is it still detectable after all that has passed baby wants baby wants baby wants a hug