Coming Home
I remember the night I first tasted sweet love.
Joining a boy for that magical, first time,
Under the glimmer of our own, fat moon,
Next to a silvery lake, sampling the divine.
We explored and shared the ultimate delight,
Just kids, we hardly knew what to do,
Our very first time, awkward but pure,
Forever remembered, so honest and true.
I’ve most definitely lived a colorful life,
For all the passion I’ve often paid for with pain,
I discovered my footing, learned to walk and then run,
Making mistakes many times over again.
I married for babies, not real love, it’s true,
A mistake unlike any other I’ve made,
It has cost me more dearly than I could afford,
My heart ripped wide open from that desperate charade.
But from this came the true loves of my life,
Two sons who bring me such deep joy each day,
With their grace, their wonder, they own my heart,
When I could stand life no more, they ensured that I stay.
Now that I’ve made it almost 50 years,
And find myself starting over once more,
Hoping to find that love of all seasons,
The one man I’ve forever been longing for.
Suitable contenders that knock at my door,
See my sweet curves and sense my warm heart,
But do they realize the effort it takes,
To keep my fractured soul from falling apart?
Why have I spent so much of life alone?
How do the days so rapidly slip by?
How can this lonely life of mine,
Both compel me to laugh while it brings me to cry?
I know what I’m missing and truly long for,
What my soul arcs out with hope to find,
That one, good man with which to rest my bones,
My true North, who’s profound, strong and kind.
I’m broken, I admit, this last one was cruel,
I gave him my heart, asked that he handle with care,
But I got it wrong again, was played the fool,
Left trampled and injured, in need of repair.
I realize now just how precious time is,
I’ve survived the roughest seas one could face,
But I just cannot harden this tender heart of mine,
Unwilling to let this life go to waste.
One thing I’ve learned, this is for sure,
Life races by quicker than ever before,
I have no idea what’s around the next curve,
Or what could possibly be in store.
Am I any wiser now, or just more wounded?
Have I learned from my costly mistakes?
Have I grown more astute at navigating this journey,
Or will I get tripped up by another fancy fake?
In a world that offers us no guarantees,
An existence that affords so few a happy end,
I think of all that’s brought me to my knees,
Both by way of its grace and what so painfully offends.
Slowly I place one foot through this door,
Shiver from the chill that comes with being alone,
And I wonder, I do, as I always have,
Will I ever discover you and finally get to come home?
Copyright © Elisa Christensen | Year Posted 2017
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