Colors In the Dark

Colors in the Dark When I was younger I’d get scared too easily, my mother was patience pushing back the monsters in the closet with a simple wave of her hand as i grew my mother didn’t have enough patience to coat my form; her patience and my size were no longer proportionate. When I hit 5’1 she looked at me eye to eye an unwanted staring contest with the underlying battle of wills she said find the beauty in the dark beauty in the dark beauty in the dark I didn’t understand what she wanted but the bags under her eyes weighed my chest down i nodded but i didn't understand, it was a sort of forced nod where my head and brain moved on two separate courses night// i laid in bed staring at vague outlines searching for beauty beauty in the dark i only found terror in dark corners hours fall past me like seconds on a clock the incessant count down to my doom hours of searching in dark corners looking for something that wasn’t there, looking for beauty in the dark how do I find something that isn’t there desperation lead my eyes to the window wind had cracked open my blinds she twisted and pulled them as she danced her cool crisp breeze beckoned me to look up and there I found it the sky is never black there is always color tuesday indigo wednesday hints of pink thursday violet colors in the dark colors in the dark show tuesday tree’s desperate aching limbs reaching out to join the elusive wind in her dance of flurries but tree was rooted stuck wednesday wind was free wind was wild tree imitated curling her limbs into shapes you had to squint at to find meaning wind teased twirling through tree’s gnarled branches thursday clouds cried for tree their tears dropping and drowning earth “cloud is free” tree screamed “wind is free” “my roots run deep my branches reach high but I am not free” I cried for tree my eyes unintentionally mimicked cloud drowning myself Tuesday// I run outside to hug tree I break off a branch and take it inside with me cradling it like a newborn baby I vowed to gray monday sky I would take it everywhere with me with me part of tree would be free night// there were no screams of tuesday trees nor laughs of wednesday winds just beauty and colors in the dark