Code Blue

my mood swung like an uncontrollable pendulum. most of my time was spent lashing out at everyone. the weight of my achingly sad body felt like bricks mortared my back. the constant wonder of what went wrong filled my everyday thoughts. it was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, yet i felt like i was being punished for something. my life had turned into this whirlwind of a conundrum; i didnt know how to put the pieces in place so that the puzzle made sense. i was so infuriated because no one else seemed to share this pain. i wanted to hear i was beautiful, even if i didnt believe it half the time. i longed to be happy once again. it didnt come with stretch marks, morning sickness, or weird cravings- this trimest, the longest one of them all, came with the baby blues.