Clifford
Met him at a strange time in my shaky life. I was facing heartache and pain, I was in so much need for love. Being a misfits bad girl, I needed to feel something real, someone by my side to feel validated. He was so beautiful an ever so charming. Importantly, broken.
Never realized, just how damaged he was as me when we met, but thats what made us click, isn't it? Got so messed up by this boy and didn't realize, it was him messing people up. He was my type. I fell so hard when he said, he loved me. Come to find out, he didn't mean it.
He became so anxious when he said it. He put his head in his knees for a minute, and god, I fell in love with him that night. Looking back, he never was. How can he love someone when his chest is empty an there's a space where his heart should be.
I was in his corner and believed in him when no one else did. I was in his every sense, expect I never was. He refused to see I was always there when his girlfriend wasn't. He told me all his fears and regrets, yet, he refused to hear mine.
What hurts the most is, he didn't wait to hear he was saving my life, but maybe that wouldn't be good enough for him. I tried real hard to be everything he needed. I wanted him to see, I loved him, an it still bothers me to my core that he still doesn't know.
I have a girl who thinks I'm more than enough. She loves every part of me, the parts he never could.
Lately, it's been killing me that I miss him. I lay in bed at night an want him next to me so we can talk the night away.
Is it possible to miss him an not want him back?
Just want to know, does he miss me back?
Copyright © Stevie Yost | Year Posted 2015
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