Cigarette

I smoked a cigarrette today! I sat all by myself nd thot abt hw we cud ever be.. You see- I was intoxicated by the words u fed me- U got me high on life-- lies I took the time to look in the mirror of my life nd reflect on the bad decisions I ever made.. My life I started to hate! I cud not face up to the broken glasses that lay before me Have I always been that ugly? I cud not see the beauty u spoke of.. I started to carve out my poetry lines with a broken mirror .. Dug deep nd watched as the words gushed out .. I smoked a cigarrette today! Felt my lungs tighten as I held the toxic smoke inside.. I held that ***** in- Till my head hurt a little.. I guess that's wat ppl do When they play second fiddle .. To everything nd evry1.. Oh hw I wished I had gun.. It'd be easier to end it all.. ..The physical imprisonment ie.. My emotional shackles grip me tighter everyday as I try to understand the motives behind ur actions.. I smoked a cigarrette today! I cudnt breathe for hours Jus hopin my petty life it wud devour.. Wat used to be a flower- Now a bulb that dies by the hour! I got so ****ed up today.. Trying not feel so many things., Trying not to know wat I know.. Trying to ignore the facts.. I tried so hard to be-- numb.. But then.. I smoked a cigarrette today... The cigarrette u left behind when u walked away that day! —