Christmas Without Your Presence

I used to sit alone in my room wondering why I had to spend christmas without you A children's home full of kids and staff, but I just wanted to be around you My world felt so dark that I couldn't see any blessings I didn't care for gifts, I would just wish for your presence I'm feeling boxed in which means there's a lot to unwrap Sitting alone, daydreaming that one day you will come back Most kids are happy at Christmas but I used to feel so Unattached Talking to the sky, asking why Can't I be in the same home that my dad and mum's at I tried to block thoughts of you out, but I always wondered if you were missing me To mask my pain, I'd make a joke about hoping Rihanna would be under the christmas tree There was more chance of that happening than getting a hug from my dad Most children are happy at Christmas, so they'd judge me for being sad I got to see you six times a year, so why did I feel like you were important I was just a kid lost in foster care, who wanted love and reassurance I wonder if at Christmas I ever crossed either of your minds? Did you ever think, that it'd be better if you didn't put me in foster care, just one time? It was always the hardest time of the year for me I never cared about gifts or what was under the Christmas tree Sometimes the hardest times of our life come with the best lessons But I never figured out, what was good about spending Christmas without your presence