Christmas Windows - Tanka

supermarket bells
their strange clangor in the cold
the red-faced ringer
feet stamping    one    the other
while coins hit brittle    like ice
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Dietrich Avatar
December 8, 2016 at 6:17 PM
LOVING this one again. I came all the way back to the beginning and one of first times I read your Xmas poetry
Dietrich Avatar
June 25, 2010 at 8:20 AM
EXCELLENT TANKA! Hmm, looks like you have SEVERAL more windows poems!
Swanson Avatar
December 26, 2008 at 10:34 AM
I thought you captured this perfectly! Gives the sensation of hearing them ring their bells, out shopping in the cold, great imagery. Just wanted to say thanks so much for your congrats. God bless and hope you had a nice holiday! :) Amy P.S. Hope your kitty cats got a nice gift this year (and didn't leave any undesired ones!) hehe ;) Our cat tried to climb the tree and broke an ornament! LOL >^..^<
Jordan Avatar
December 21, 2008 at 2:47 PM
Daver - Merry Christmas - Great poem - God Bless, MJ
Wilson Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 5:47 PM
I like the way the last two lines break up, it communicates nicely the feeling of someone ringing a bell in the cold.
Richards Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 5:34 PM
They are at every door....and yes...they are stamping feet in tune with the jingle! Bless them! ~ Lovely, and so well describes another scene of Christmas! Happy Holidays, Daver! ~ Love, Carrie
Winter Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 3:41 PM
A sight and sound all part of the Christmas spirit. Such kind souls standing out in the cold for the cause of others. More Christmas windows I so enjoy looking through. Love, Shar
Reynolds Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 11:28 AM
Awesome Daver! The last 2 lines really drive it home. amazing write, moremoremore! Love, Kristin as for my write, yes, two minds...
 Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 10:58 AM
There can be more than one interpretation of this poem--an asset giving the reader pause and wanting to read it again. The vivid imagery conveys your thoughts in a creative way. Have a wonderful Christmas! Karen
George   Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 7:47 AM
Their dedication to help others in amazing. Standing for hours - freezing so a homeless person can be warm. And so this is Christmas. Sensational writing, Daver. Love Lainie
Bickerstaffe Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 6:29 AM
Lovely imagery and word choices... neat alliteration and atmosphere. Well done Daver! Best wishes, Keith
Higgins Avatar
December 20, 2008 at 6:28 AM
You captured this wonderfully Daver. I can see it all unfolding.
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace