Caren Krutsinger Poet Free verse

Choosing To Punish Myself

A zig of happiness sparked the upper peninsulas
Of my wildebeest heart, a mere tich.
Could that teensy beginning shake my
Anger, which I had determinedly
Held onto for three weeks longer
Than anyone sane should have?

Come on, the spark said, laughing. Come
And play. We can be mad tomorrow.
I was not in the least bit tempted.
Stubbornness held me fast.

I refused her offer, the lifeline
She was giving me.  I ignored the
Light, and held on to my 
Enmeshed hurt feelings,

Holding onto my rage 
As a shield, afraid of whom I 
Might become without her.

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Rhona Mcferran November 19, 2018 at 8:49 AM Bless your "wildebeest heart"!! hahaha Although this is an awesome poem, I know that's a lousy feeling holding onto anger like that...

Andrea Dietrich November 18, 2018 at 7:51 PM That is one awsome poem, Caren. I love your descriptiveness for that unnecessary emotion of holding grudges. Caren Krutsinger November 18, 2018 at 9:40 PM Thank you Andrea. When I do it I am so confused as to how I could have slipped again, consternated by the "why" of it. What good does it do? No good at all.

Arturo Michael November 18, 2018 at 6:50 PM A serious write indeed...When most of us in some way or the other experience...All the best Caren... Caren Krutsinger November 18, 2018 at 9:41 PM Thank you Arturo. I thought why not just throw some angry feelings out and so I did. I find when I throw them onto paper, I can release them from inner me.