Choosing Happiness
Tonight I heard a terminally cancered
yet not cancelled
singer songwriter say
"I can't wait for life to not be hard
before choosing to be happy."
She spoke well from her own experience
and I remain moved,
but also curiously confused
about physical v mental
hardness.
For someone with chronic depression
or suffering from loneliness,
chronic climate anxiety,
lack of nonviolent
and actively compassionate communication,
pathological attachments,
monocultural self-depreciation,
transparent and vulnerable dissociation,
For someone profoundly missing
resonant and resilient
spiritual and natural healthy wealth,
mental and physical,
sacred and secular,
Our primary suffering
includes not having ego-empowering
and cooperatively enlightened choices
to be happy,
nor healthy.
Although, perhaps more individual choice
can be slow-grown
to positively engage EarthMother's outside nurture
with robust healthy integrity,
intent,
cooperative investment practice,
courage,
active curiosity and hope,
Lurking,
hanging out,
furtively searching around dark mystic
re-connecting sacred corners
for co-empathic compassion,
light,
power,
sufficient win/win energy
not feeling outside alone
as also inside lonely,
Not feeling heterosexual
as also homophobic,
any more
Or less than I can
and will power
to enlighten health wealthiest opportunities
Here as Now engagement
is not over There and Then war
against PatriarchalCapitalist PC Them v Happy Us
Left spatial seen
and heard consecutive Right deductions,
temporal happiness inductions,
felt and touched cumulative instructions
of each ego LeftBrain dominant voice
is not hopelessly PC alone
bereft of ecosystemic RightMind
felt Here/Now happy
healthy EarthMother's solidarity choice.
To experience EarthHappiness voice,
sacred celebrating sacramental joy,
divine con-celebration,
is to choose to extend
and embrace polyculturing health
InsideSpace as Outside PC Time,
Ego as part of Earth's healthy resonating
WholySpirit EcoSystemic inspiring
to choose optimizing integral AnthroWealth
of ego/eco-resilient compassion
PhysicalHere/MentalNow
throughout Earth's integral
Space/Time well-being,
with flashes of healing happiness
leisurely breaking through
like dawn selecting warm grey
then purpled pink
then yellow seductive sunlight
Co-reflective Out/In
co-empathic Win/Win
multiculturally theo-spoken
sunlight happiness
and dualdark benighted wonder,
True WisdomWealth loves Healthy/Safe
eternal timeless Beauty
Or maybe not,
but, still,
such improbably PolyNomial Balanced
non-violently
non-RightWing PC
ecowomanist
polycultural organic design
gives me great transitional pause
to smile
and happily wonder
if we could not be Left/BRight so,
As indigenous nature-spirited wisdom
once felt interdependently blueHeaven
over green-empowering Earth
Bilaterally intersectional
bicamerally
binomially double-binding
positive co-empathic binary
neuro-sensory integrity blessed
healthy binomial best
wealth ego/eco-bilateral potential
Like outside light
dusking into dark
perennial starlight night
inside integrity
resiliently residential
Waiting for hard day life
choosing joyful bright resistance
to all that bleak secularizing PC.
Copyright © Gerald Dillenbeck | Year Posted 2021
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