Choosing Happiness

Tonight I heard a terminally cancered yet not cancelled singer songwriter say "I can't wait for life to not be hard before choosing to be happy." She spoke well from her own experience and I remain moved, but also curiously confused about physical v mental hardness. For someone with chronic depression or suffering from loneliness, chronic climate anxiety, lack of nonviolent and actively compassionate communication, pathological attachments, monocultural self-depreciation, transparent and vulnerable dissociation, For someone profoundly missing resonant and resilient spiritual and natural healthy wealth, mental and physical, sacred and secular, Our primary suffering includes not having ego-empowering and cooperatively enlightened choices to be happy, nor healthy. Although, perhaps more individual choice can be slow-grown to positively engage EarthMother's outside nurture with robust healthy integrity, intent, cooperative investment practice, courage, active curiosity and hope, Lurking, hanging out, furtively searching around dark mystic re-connecting sacred corners for co-empathic compassion, light, power, sufficient win/win energy not feeling outside alone as also inside lonely, Not feeling heterosexual as also homophobic, any more Or less than I can and will power to enlighten health wealthiest opportunities Here as Now engagement is not over There and Then war against PatriarchalCapitalist PC Them v Happy Us Left spatial seen and heard consecutive Right deductions, temporal happiness inductions, felt and touched cumulative instructions of each ego LeftBrain dominant voice is not hopelessly PC alone bereft of ecosystemic RightMind felt Here/Now happy healthy EarthMother's solidarity choice. To experience EarthHappiness voice, sacred celebrating sacramental joy, divine con-celebration, is to choose to extend and embrace polyculturing health InsideSpace as Outside PC Time, Ego as part of Earth's healthy resonating WholySpirit EcoSystemic inspiring to choose optimizing integral AnthroWealth of ego/eco-resilient compassion PhysicalHere/MentalNow throughout Earth's integral Space/Time well-being, with flashes of healing happiness leisurely breaking through like dawn selecting warm grey then purpled pink then yellow seductive sunlight Co-reflective Out/In co-empathic Win/Win multiculturally theo-spoken sunlight happiness and dualdark benighted wonder, True WisdomWealth loves Healthy/Safe eternal timeless Beauty Or maybe not, but, still, such improbably PolyNomial Balanced non-violently non-RightWing PC ecowomanist polycultural organic design gives me great transitional pause to smile and happily wonder if we could not be Left/BRight so, As indigenous nature-spirited wisdom once felt interdependently blueHeaven over green-empowering Earth Bilaterally intersectional bicamerally binomially double-binding positive co-empathic binary neuro-sensory integrity blessed healthy binomial best wealth ego/eco-bilateral potential Like outside light dusking into dark perennial starlight night inside integrity resiliently residential Waiting for hard day life choosing joyful bright resistance to all that bleak secularizing PC.