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Childhood

The volume of all of life's channels is turned up loud, but not loud enough. The actors are in the ever present but the viewers watch in fast forward complaining all the while that the characters act like the children they are but they grow up too fast. that she doesn't know what's behind the door and yet mourn when she's all too well-versed.

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Gary Bateman

Date: 8/1/2015 10:53:00 AM

Hello Kari!! Apparently, I'm unable to send you a Soup Mail to communicate further since you're not yet a Premium Member. My brief thoughts are: (1) Your free verse write is fine. (2) Your always have the option of editing your poem here further if you want to make any changes. (3) Free Verse is often hard to directly critique. As Kim mentioned below (and me as well): KEEP WRITING!! (4) Your poetic voice will come over time. Read others' poetry too! Hope this helps!! Stay in touch!! Cheers, Gary

Kp Nunez

Date: 8/1/2015 12:26:00 AM

I understand your sentiments here, Kari. People around us when we were young or even us now adults do it more often than not, I guess - expect children to act more responsible, more adult. You have captured the irony here. Well done. Did you mean to put a period after the 3rd line in verse 2? That aside, I'd like to welcome you to PoetrySoup! Keep writing, keep posting and keep visiting pages for us to encourage each other. hugs! Kim

Gary Bateman

Date: 7/31/2015 5:23:00 PM

Hello Kari!! A very true and revealing free verse write. Childhood, when most of us look back on it, can seem like a flash in the past. At least this is true for me. Excellent Work here!! And a "7" for sure. BTW, I see that you're relatively new to Poetry Soup. I want to take a moment to welcome you! And you are more than welcome to read any of my poems that interest you as you choose to do so. Comment on others' poems and they will normally comment back. Nice to have you with us!! Cheers, Gary

Gary Bateman
Date: 7/31/2015 6:11:00 PM

Kari, Thanks for your note!! The early writes seem to be always the hardest as people are getting started. You do have a great initial effort here!! Let me think about it and I will reply further to you via Soup Mail tomorrow (as I'm here in Germany writing in the wee hours of the morning)!! Regardless, keep writing always -- and have no fear!! Cheers, Gary

Kari Mitchell
Date: 7/31/2015 5:39:00 PM

Thank you, Gary! A seven is very gracious. I welcome any suggestions on this because it's not my favorite. It doesn't have the flow I want. I admire your work.